All roads lead to your wedding
Bernadette Duncan
Guests who fly in from far and wide deserve a special welcome for traveling the extra mile. Here are some DOs and DON’Ts when making arrangements for their stay:
DO start looking for accommodations for out-of-town guests six to eight months before the wedding – and one year ahead if your wedding falls on or near a holiday.
DO check out lodging that’s near the airport, rehearsal dinner, ceremony location, and/or reception. Arranging for guests to stay in the same hotel as the reception is an obvious good choice.
DO give your guests both a low-frills and a splurge option when it comes to choosing accommodations – and specify the choice on the invitation. It’s up to them to consider your suggestions and make their own arrangements.
DON’T forget to ask guests to make reservations as early as possible. Check with hotel or lodging accommodation to find out when they expect a final commitment. It may fall about four to six weeks before the wedding.
DO negotiate the hotel rate when you reserve a block of ten rooms or more. With a number like that, you deserve a discount.
DO look into pre-arranging transportation when booking your guests’ accommodations.
DO plan additional entertainment for the out-of-towners who are not part of the wedding party but have made the effort to travel far. According to Emily Post’s Wedding Planner, Wedding Etiquette (16th edition), “Although you are certainly not obligated to do so, it is a nice touch to offer activities, gatherings, and other forms of hospitality to those who have come from faraway to celebrate your nuptials.”
DO include a list of activities and must-see attractions — sporting events, museums, golf courses, shopping excursions, plays, and historic sites, for example.
DO slip in a ticket to an event you know would interest a special guest. If your budget allows, include a gift certificate for a yoga class or body massage.
However…
DON’T make yourself crazy scheduling every minute of their stay. Remember, you’re the bride – not the activities director.
DO entertain these special guests on the day of an evening wedding, during the rehearsal dinner, and at a brunch the day after the wedding ceremony.
DO think about the “extended participants” – that is, if out-of-town guests are staying in private homes, their hosts should be invited to the events or parties as well.
DO ask friends or family to take these guests on an outing – perhaps the day before the wedding (when you and your bridal party are rehearsing).
DON’T feel obliged to pay for out-of-town guests lodging – except if they are members of the bridal party. (However, bridal party members are expected to pay for any extra hotel charges like movie rentals, room service, health club fees when they check out.)
DO drive the routes to the ceremony and reception site to make sure there’s no road work that would confuse guests. If people will encounter detours, mark them with signs: “Smith/Davis Wedding.”
DO enclose a map to the ceremony and a list of names of other out-of-town guests.
DO greet guests at check-in with a welcome note written especially for them.
DO show your appreciation by treating these guests to a gift basket or gift bag filled with goodies. Consider themes: if your ceremony is at the beach, fill a basket with sunglasses, lotion and a beach towel. Having the wedding at a vineyard? Fill a gift bag with a bottle of wine, glasses, and cheese and crackers.
And finally…
DO send a wedding announcement – and not necessarily an invitation – to those out-of-town acquaintances whom you think can’t possibly attend the celebration.