Lessons of love, Hollywood-style
Donna J. Moran
Up to your veil in endless plans and details? Take time to curl up on the couch (with or without your honey) and check out the Hollywood way of getting married. Maybe you’ll even pick up on some tantalizing tips from these movies: Lesson #1— Remember to have back-up plans. Take a lesson from the four-day, outdoors celebration featured in Monsoon Wedding: sometimes a little precipitation (okay, a downpour) makes the event all the more intense. From the last-minute arranged wedding in New Delhi emerges a plot thick with family secrets, high anxiety, and frantic wedding preparations. When the rain finally comes, the cathartic downpour is actually a relief. That said, be sure you have a backup plan that includes tents, umbrellas, and change of shoes. THE STATS: Romance: *** Tears: * Great clothes: ** Happy ending: **** Male bonding: ** Lesson #2— Put extra thought into the seating arrangements. In real life and in the movies many couples meet at weddings. Off the screen, couples Ashley Judd and Mario Franchitti as well as Gloria and Emilio Estefan, Jr. hooked up at other people’s affairs. In the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell found each other liplocked soon after their encounter. Win a lifetime of good karma when you play matchmaker and pull together a magical seating chart that leads to another exchange of vows. THE STATS: Romance: ** Tears: * Great clothes: ** Happy ending: **** Male bonding: * Lesson #3— Think carefully when making the guest list. In My Best Friend’s Wedding, Julia Roberts plays the long time pal of the handsome actor, Dermot Mulroney. It’s only when he announces his engagement to someone else that she realizes that she’s in love with him. Roberts then seeks to sabotage his wedding. Watch the flick to learn whether she succeeds. The real-life lesson is clear: ex-partners (or those you suspect have hidden romantic feelings for you or your honey) should NOT attend your joyous occasion. THE STATS: Romance: *** Tears: *** Great clothes: *** Happy ending: Mum’s the word! Male bonding: ** Rating: A great movie to see with the bridesmaids; your hubby-to-be will think it’s a yawner. Lesson #4— Choose your speakers carefully. The Wedding Singer, besides its rockin’ ’80s soundtrack, features a scene where the groom’s drunken brother gives a toast that reveals the groom’s past sexual escapades. Keep this in mind when you choose the person to hoist the champagne. (And think about what a miserable wedding night awaited that groom.) THE STATS: Romance: ** Tears:* Great clothes:**** (The ‘80s live!) Happy ending: **** Male bonding: ** Rating: **** Lesson #5— Your wedding is also for your parents. In My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Toula and Ian fall in love and Toula’s very Greek father freaks out. To ease the shock, the couple tries to bridge the cultural gap. Ian gets baptized, Toula lets her parents choose the invitations. Like Toula’s parents, yours may have ideas about how your Big Day should go. A little grace on your part will go a long way. Invite your mom and/or dad to help you pick out your dress, the favors, or the flowers. It will make them feel more involved. THE STATS: Romance: **** Tears: ** Great clothes: **** Happy ending: **** Male bonding: *** One memorable line: "We thought you’d NEVER get married!" Lesson #6— Have post-ceremony fun. Whether or not you’ve already hit the sheets together - or this is the very first time - there’s bound to be anxiety on the wedding night. Consider 91/2 Weeks. Kim Bassinger is blindfolded by Mickey Rourke and treated to a sensuous buffet of oral delights: Jello, fruit, ice cubes and lots of imagination. Do your own blindfolded version - dribble champagne into his mouth, tease his lips with fruit slices, body paint with cake frosting. THE STATS: Romance: more sensual than romantic. Tears: *** Great clothes: ** Happy ending: * The male brain: He’ll love this one **** Extra: Don’t watch if you’re hungry. Lesson #7— It’s okay to be relieved when it’s over. In the opening scene of Father of the Bride, Steve Martin slumps in a chair and groans, “I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. A boy and a girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say ‘I do.’ I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is entirely different.” Don’t be surprised if your wedding has slip-ups—the wrong flowers, late bridesmaids, a missing shoe or wilting salads. Like every nostalgic bride, you’ll remember your wedding as wonderful and giggle at the rest. THE STATS: Romance: * Tears: * Great clothes: ** Happy ending: *** Male bonding: *