Managing Your Wedding Budget
Amy E. Lemen
Nothing strikes fear in the hearts of couples about to get married than thinking about the cost of a wedding. Next to a down payment on your first house, paying for a wedding can be a daunting proposition – no matter if you’re footing much of the bill yourselves or paying for a portion.
In either case, it pays to have a budget you can live with, and one that also allows for extras as they come up – like when you find the perfect groom’s cake or a dress you just can’t live without.
Planning a wedding budget is much like setting a budget for household or living expenses. A budget can help you get your monthly expenses under control, plan for future expenses, or determine how much you can afford to spend. And, that’s exactly what you need when planning a wedding.
Sharing Expenses
Wedding costs can run from $20,000 on up, depending on what you want in your dream wedding. The average wedding on Long Island costs about $30,000, not including rings or expenses traditionally covered by the groom’s family, like the rehearsal dinner or flowers. But with traditions going out the window these days for brides and grooms who are older and for couples sharing expenses, deciding who pays for what is relative – sometimes literally.
For example, depending on the ages and the couple’s financial circumstances, many couples have family members who want to help. If that’s the case for you, first sit down with your partner and talk about what you want in a wedding. Get your ideas together by reading bridal magazines and guides, talking to retailers and contacting wedding suppliers for budget ideas. By the time you sit down with your parents or other family members, you’ll be well prepared.
Experts advise that some budget items will be fixed costs that won’t change no matter how many people attend your celebration – like your dress, photography or video package – so keep that in mind as you’re planning. The most important point to remember is to be realistic and try to stay as close to your total for each item as possible.
Who Pays for What?
If you and your groom’s family are going the traditional route and are divvying up costs, here’s a guideline as to who pays for what. Of course, this is all subject to change, and each family’s budget should be considered when planning your wedding expenses. Also, if you want to go over the top on, say, the dress – offer to pay the extra to cover the cost.
The bride and her family usually pay for:
- Wedding dress, headpiece and accessories
- Trousseau, including clothes and lingerie
- Wedding stationery, notes and mailing
- Cost of reception, including site, caterer, food, music, flowers and decorations
- At the ceremony: Rental fee, if any; flower arrangements or other decorations; music
- The groom's wedding ring and gift
- Gifts for bride's attendants
- Photographs at the wedding and reception
- Video of wedding
- Favors for wedding guests
- Transportation for bridal party on the day of the wedding
- Attendants’ bouquets
- Wedding guest book
- Professional wedding consultant, if one is used
The groom and his family usually foot the bill for:
- Bride's rings and gift
- Marriage license
- Honeymoon
- Gifts for best man, groomsmen and ushers
- The bride’s bouquet, all corsages and boutonnieres
- Fee for clergyman or official
- Rehearsal dinner
- Tuxedo rental
The groom’s family might also pay for accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen, ushers and guests (as might the bride’s family for out-of-town family members), and alcohol at the reception.
Also keep in mind when planning your budget that your attendants and ushers are responsible for certain expenses, including travel, bridesmaids’ dresses or formal wear rentals and parties or entertainment for the couple (like showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties). Some couples offer to help attendants with expenses like dresses; if so, put it in the budget.
Get it in Writing
Finally, always get signed contracts, even if they're informal, for every service or item you’ll be buying as part of your wedding. This will ensure you’ll be in good shape if your photographer goes out of business or something happens to the video guy at the last minute.
Make sure the contracts spell out all the details, like date, time, quantity, size, color, time of delivery, rental period and anything else you require. And be sure you understand the amount and terms of payment, too.
Above all, communicate – with your partner and family – about what’s most important to you. Make a list of the most important items to you and make it non-negotiable. By using your list as a guide and designing a budget around it, it’s more likely that you’ll get the wedding you’ve always wanted.