Parties Galore
Janel Bladow
These days, the action before the wedding is a social whirl that can wear down even the most seasoned party girl. Whether you want to celebrate like your mom, or put a modern twist to the traditional bash, here’s a simple guide to popular parties, past and present: ENGAGEMENT PARTY Tradition: The bride's parents throw this party in their home as a way to gather those nearest and dearest to the engaged couple. Latest trend: Anything goes. Mom may still want to have a lunch, presents and all. But you might want to follow Jodi and Richie’s game plan. “We wanted to surprise our friends,” says 25-year old Jodi, a public relations exec. “We invited our friends to our favorite club and gave everyone free drink cards. When the band was about to take a break, Richie got on stage and broke the news to all our pals. His friends and my friends got to meet and mingle. We had a blast.” BRIDAL SHOWER Tradition: The real thrill at this women-only shower is the presents, often chosen with a theme in mind — such as lingerie, bed and bath, or kitchen gifts. The bows from these gifts are collected and redesigned into a “bridal bouquet” to be used at your wedding rehearsal. Usually held a few weeks before the wedding, the shower may be scheduled for a range of times - breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, or dinner. They’re usually hosted by the maid-of-honor in her home, backyard or a restaurant and often feature a silly game. When Virginia, a magazine editor married Mike, a TV producer, last year, her bridesmaids threw a backyard soirée, complete with a newlywed game to test her on just how well she knew her husband-to-be. “I couldn’t believe they had me stumped on his favorite TV character.” she says. Latest trend: More couples are replacing the customary same-sex pre-parties with coed showers called Jack and Jills. They may throw a fabulous party, then spend the day at the races or a weekend in Vegas or Atlantic City. Some couples even arrange a spa weekend for both sexes. Gift themes for couples include patio/gardening, kitchen appliances, household maintenance, entertainment, and general household items. For 34-year-old Jessica, having a coed party “made perfect sense.” After all, she explains, “Bill and I met through friends at a beach house. Celebrating with the people who introduced us was just the right thing to do.” BACHELORETTE PARTY Tradition: Girls just want to have fun and this is the place to start. Usually hosted by the maid or matron of honor, guests include the bride’s closest friends. For parties past, Chippendale’s was the place to have risqué fun — a strip club featuring all male dancers. Another option was a night out on the town through all the singles’ hangouts. Latest trend: Hiring a limo and heading for another sort of adventure is the way to go. Marcie spent the end of her swinging single days at a spa. The junior high teacher and four friends combined beauty treatments, slumber party and gossip in one memorable outing. “Some of my friends are already moms, so having a weekend with just the girls was great fun and relaxing too,” says the 29-year old bride. BACHELOR PARTY Tradition: Hosted by the best man or groom's brother, this has always been a guys-only-get-drunk-and-go-to-strip-clubs outing. The reassuring truth is - this event is probably not as rowdy as most men would like women to believe, though there has always been a lot of drinking. Latest trend: More and more, men are opting for dinner at an upscale steak house or a night at a sporting event. If there is no rehearsal dinner, the groom may want to give his attendants their gifts at this event. For 35-year old Dick’s bachelor bash, the Wall Street broker’s brother booked a room at a cigar bar. The guys ate, drank and smoked without one complaint from the wives or girlfriends. It’s a wise host who schedules this bash a week or two before the wedding so the groom can recover. He also hires a chauffeur and limousine service or elects a designated driver. BRIDAL PARTY LUNCHEON Tradition: In years past few brides threw a party for their attendants. Latest trend: More often these days this is a gracious way to thank girlfriends and sisters who shell out big bucks for dresses they’ll probably never wear again. The rule-of-thumb here is a light lunch or afternoon tea with finger sandwiches and biscuits before heading out for a shopping expedition or an afternoon crafts activity. At this party the bride gives the thank-you gifts to her attendants. Catherine, a 23-year old recent college grad, said, “I gave my five bridesmaids turquoise necklaces at a Tex-Mex themed party in my parents’ backyard.” REHEARSAL DINNER Tradition: The customary rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding has been for the bridal party and their spouses, as well as the clergy, parents and grandparents. It’s often a formal occasion at a nice restaurant hosted by the groom’s parents. Traditionally the best man proposes a toast to the couple (see page 388) and the couple toasts their parents. Guests may also join in the salutes. Latest trend: Today, anything goes. Jessica and Bill hired a boat and took everyone down a Delaware River canal as they noshed on canapés and sipped cocktails. They followed with an outdoor sit-down dinner at a riverside restaurant. “It was casual and comfortable - a perfect fit for our garden party themed wedding,” says Jessica. More and more, out-of-town guests are included in on this bash. And it’s also a great time to give your wedding attendants their gifts. PARTY FOR OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS Tradition: In years past, the number of guests who traveled from afar was small. If there was a gathering, it was informal. Latest trend: Entertaining out-of-towners has become an increasingly popular trend as more and more faraway friends and relatives make an effort to share in your joy. The engaged couple take delight in conjuring up inventive ways to make them feel welcome (see page 170). A wedding day or day-after brunch in a friend’s or relative’s home has become increasingly popular. If these guests are really special, some newlyweds choose to delay their honeymoon by a day or two just to spend more time with them.