Playing Dress Up
Sana Butler
A wedding may be a child’s first encounter with “serious” clothing, requiring a bit more than a party dress or a good shirt. Whether for a flower girl or ring bearer, wedding attire for the littlest guest should complement the overall style and theme of the wedding, and be kid proof. Because a youngster’s steps down the aisle plays an important role in setting the mood for the wedding, there are a few things to think about before going shopping for the right outfit.
Consider the Cost: Parents are generally responsible for the children’s clothing — in the same way bridesmaids are responsible for their attire – and with prices ranging from moderate to, well, a pretty penny, most try to get more than one use out of it. Many labels, which design special occasion clothing for children, offer tailored shirts with snap buttons for boys and comfortable frilly dresses for girls that are wearable enough for after the big event.
Get the Bride’s Approval: On rare occasions, a bride may know exactly what she wants the youngsters or junior members of the wedding party to wear. The rest of the time she will likely default to suggestions. Brides should let parents of the flower girl and ring bearer know the style, color, and even fabric for the wedding party for consistency. This allows the parents to choose the outfits on their own. Sometimes, the bride may want parents to go to the same bridal shop the adults are using. The bride should also let parents know if there is anything she doesn’t want the children to wear. For example, if the bridesmaids’ dresses are red the bride may not want that color on a four year-old.
Fittings are essential: Attire for the flower girl and ring bearer should fit as well as the attire for the adults in the bridal party, or even better. Kids don’t necessarily have to go for fittings with the rest of the bridal party. Parents may want to take the children early in the day when he or she is not hungry or tired. This will make for a smoother outing. Consider booking a one-on-one consultation with a personal stylist at the bridal shop where the youngster can have his or her own private fitting.
When In Doubt, Go Without. Try to stay practical and not go over the top. Remember that little ones love to play and run around no matter what the occasion. They will likely be running to their parents to have something untied or loosened, which means it will need readjustments before photos are taken. It’s a good idea to have parents avoid clothing that needs adult supervision; so let them know if it’s okay if the ring bearer doesn’t wear a tie, for example. The bride and groom should be the center of attention, but a cute ring bearer fussing with his tight collar can be hard to compete with.
First Impressions. Remember that flower girls and ring bearers are the first ones down the aisle, so they set the stage for everything that follows. That’s a lot of pressure on the bride and the little ones. The youngsters should stand out but not draw attention from the spotlight. Stick to a soft, elegant look with special detailing around the eye “hot” zones: neckline, waistline, and shoes.
Clues: The wedding invitation gives parents a cue as to the tone of the ceremony. The fancier the invitations (color, script, paper size, style), the fancier and more elegant the wedding. Also, the chosen venue and time of day offer the guidelines as to how dressy a child should be. Attire becomes dressier or more formal for weddings held later in the day. (If the wedding is before 5pm, bright colors, pastels, and florals are generally preferred over black or white.)
Special touches. Keep in mind that not all outfits are appropriate for every type of wedding. A ring bearer can get away with khaki Bermuda shorts for a 4th of July wedding, but not at a formal Christmas ceremony. If suitable, try to find a unique way to subtly incorporate the wedding’s theme into the child’s attire. This can easily be done with accessories, such as an adorable oversized straw hat for the flower girl at a beach wedding, or a compass pin on the ring bearer’s jacket for a yacht reception.
Wear and Tear. Parents should not be afraid to spend money on an outfit for the special day because they think the youngster is only going to wear it once. You’d be surprised at what a needle and thread can do. With minor alterations, like hemming, you can turn a flower girl dress into an outfit to wear on Sundays with the grandparents.
How Old Am I? A wedding may be a grown-up event, but don’t forget that the outfits the younger ones wear should be age appropriate. Children’s apparel can have more flexibility, so try to have fun with it. If there are ring bearers of different ages, consider having each one wear different variations of the same outfit to reflect their ages.
Remember to let your flower girl or ring bearer know the special part they are playing in your big day. This will not only help make them well-behaved and happy, but will also ensure that they keep a smile on their faces and the charm turned on all day.