You are hereby invited
Mandy Gardner
Once upon a time, a bride had one choice and one choice only when picking out an invitation: black and white. Nowadays invitations can be as elegant, funky or traditional as you like. It all depends on your budget, your taste and your tolerance for sorting through all the options. Here’s a look at choices past and present: THE BASICS: PAPER AND COLORS The Tradition: comes in ecru or white only. The New Twist: is available in a wide variety of choices - handmade, Japanese, papers with sparkle, vellum and more. Newlyweds Garfield White and his wife of Hoboken, New Jersey had chosen a wheat-colored handmade paper with embedded flower petals to match the earthy tones of their outdoor ceremony. Directions were printed on a sheet of vellum and included in the envelope. In her book, Your Vintage Wedding, author Nancy Eaton describes one couple who sent out invitations styled like vintage theater programs. They cleverly matched the murder mystery they were staging at their reception. SAY WHAT? - IT’S ALL IN THE WORDING The Tradition: has more rules than the Marine Corps. Open any etiquette book for pages upon pages of instructions on placement of names (depending on who’s hosting the gala), fonts, and even where to put commas. The New Twist: allows you to choose the wording you want - perhaps a mix of personal and traditional phraseology. Some brides have discovered that simple is best. Pia Rosen of Houston, Texas, eliminated her parents’ names altogether. “Gary’s parents are divorced and mine are deceased,” she says. “It gets tricky. You don’t want to offend anybody but the wording can get super-long.” The final product: “Pia and Gary, together with their families, invite you to share in the joy of their marriage.” REPONDEZ, S’IL VOUS PLAIT The Tradition: provides a space for the guest to write his or her name as well as a place to check beside “will attend” or “will not attend” (or a variation thereof). The New Twist: allows you space for more. Emily Pattillo and her then fiancé, Michael Pattillo of Arlington, Virginia inserted a blank line for people to write their name and a “please reply by” notation. In addition to their names, friends and family took advantage of the extra space to send personalized messages. Emily Pattillo saved them all and put them in an album. One example: “We will be there in heart and spirit - though our bodies will be in Oakland.” THE ENVELOPE PLEASE The Tradition: comes in two sizes: embassy (5-1/2 x 7-1/2 inches) and classic (4-1/2 x 6-3/4). The New Twist: offers unusual sizes and shapes, says Allison Van Every, a wedding consultant in Santa Cruz, California. Try a square which folds in from each side like origami, or an invitation that folds itself into an envelope. When money is no ob-ject, send your invitation in a box. “The invitation would be inside on top of rose petals or tissue paper or raffia,” Van Every says. Or you may include a series of invitations – for the prenuptial dinner, the wedding, the reception, the brunch – each forming its own layer. Bear in mind, according to Van Every, that boxes will cost at least $5 each to mail. You might want to reserve this option for a small wedding or an event where all the guests are local and you can hand deliver the treats. AN EXTRA TOUCH WHEN ADDRESSING ENVELOPES The Tradition: requires envelopes addressed by hand. Emily Pattillo’s mother actually took a calligraphy course for the express purpose of addressing the 200 wedding invitations. The New Twist: uses technology to look traditional. Monica Butts of Baltimore, Maryland, took her envelopes to a store which had a printer that did calligraphy. A SIMPLE REMINDER, FOLKS The Tradition: includes save-the-date cards, a relatively new invention spawned by the increasing tendency to have out-of-town guests. The New Twist: recognizes this is the first news of the wedding and the “chance to show a lot of personality,” says Karen Casey, a certified wedding consultant with I Do Weddings in Atlanta. One couple planning a beach wedding sent “message-in-a-bottle” cards, says Van Every. The information was printed on beach-themed stationary, rolled up into a scroll, tied with a ribbon and mailed in an acrylic bottle. SURFIN’ FOR INFO The Tradition: includes everything with the wedding invitation: reply card, directions and hotel availability, but not stores where you’re registered. (That is considered bad etiquette.) The New Twist: includes a web site (see page 102) which describes additional wedding information such as directions, available hotels, photographs, links to stores where you’re registered, even the story of how you and your fiancé met. “Make it as elaborate or as simple as you want,” says Ann Nola, director of the Association of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants in San Jose, California. “People have even responded via email, although that isn’t proper etiquette,” Nola adds.