Your Dream Wedding Ceremony
Dr. Gail Smith ~ Non-Denomonational Minister
CONGRATULATIONS! You have found the love of your life, that special person who completes you. You have decided to spend your lives together and have chosen a wedding date, one that speaks to your heart and will forever be an inspirational day for the two of you and your families.
First begin by asking yourselves the following key questions:
*What kind of wedding do we want?
*What feelings would we like to express to one another?
*What is our vision and intention for our special day and our life together?
*Do we want a traditional, religious or spiritual ceremony?
*Would we like the ceremony to be short and sweet or simple and elegant?
PREPARING AS A COUPLE
Pre-wedding counseling is a wonderful way to prepare not only for your wedding but your life together as well. Many churches and temples require up to 6 to 8 weeks of counseling before you take your vows. Even if you have been together for many years a few sessionS of counseling gives you a chance to look at what you want as a couple.
A helpful technique is for each of you to create a list of 25 things you are bringing to the marriage as a husband or a wife and 25 things you are expecting from your husband or wife. Couples have often expressed, that making this list and sharing it with one another was one of the most important nights of their relationship. They went out for a romantic dinner and came home and shared their lists with one another and together created a new list. It is a way to release the past, old relationships and even family opinions so that you may begin your new lives together with the same vision for your future.
FINDING YOUR COMMUNICATION SIGNALS
When there is a need to open up the lines of communication and just talk things through, a great technique is to create a sign or symbol between you.
For example: placing a rose in a vase in a special place in your home that means you would like to talk things over or just to say I love you. Or another great way is creating a word to say to one another such as: turtle or daisy when you want to talk about something important. Keep it fun, easy and simple.
CREATING YOUR CEREMONY
The wedding ceremony allows you to express your love, passion, joy and respect for one another. There are many choices for your ceremony, including traditional, non-denominational, interfaith, and casual or a theme wedding such as Hawaiian, Irish or a Fiesta. There are so many ways of showing your appreciation to your family and friends as well; for example, if you have children, a family blessing in the ceremony is a wonderful way to include them or you may present them with a token of your love such as a ring, rose or pendent to honor the creation of your new family. One of my favorites is doing a special presentation of flowers to honor your parents and grandparents.
You have the opportunity to choose how the two of you want to express your deep feelings of love with grace and style on your unique and special wedding day. With your officiant, you can create a personalized ceremony using writings or poems from many different sources. You can find wonderful poems everywhere, such as books of love poems, inspirational books, articles, or even romance novels and greeting cards.
The best yet, is the poem you wrote to your love on that romantic Valentine’s Day, or the words you used expressed your true feelings on their birthday card. One couple even borrowed a poem from their father who wrote love vows to their mother many years before.
Favorite examples:
American Indian Love Poem
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each will be warmth to the other.
Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you.
Go now into you’re dwelling place, and enter into your days together and may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Love Blessing
All your lives you have dreamt of this day, to meet and marry the love of your life. Today your dream has come true. Congratulations!
Your souls are united from this moment forward, may you grow through the experiences of being separate but as one.
May your home be a haven of love, joy and serenity, and may your life together be a tribute to the beauty of creation.
Your love is a promise, a commitment to life, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfill. Today may the flow of divine love bless you both and all the world.
Choose one or two poems that express how you feel about each other and the ceremony becomes your voice of love and the deep joy of your commitment. Enjoy the process of creating your special day, that’s half the fun of getting married and having a wedding with five people or five hundred.
HELPFUL HINTS:
*Set your goals and intentions for your dream wedding day and your life together!
*Visualize beautiful weather for your special day!
*Get a massage a few days before the wedding, so you can be relaxed and gorgeous!
*Enjoy the journey!
DR. GAIL SMITH – Is an ordained Non-Denominational Minister, Counselor, Teacher and published author officiating since 1976, she holds a PHD in Philosophy and degree in Psychology. Dr. Gail has officiated over 500 weddings in the Los Angeles and San Diego areas and specializes in unique personalized custom wedding ceremonies and Pre-wedding counseling.